i went to rent again on may 16.

i rushed to the understudy board to see who was out and to make sure kristen was there. she was not. my heart sunk. i stood there in disbelief. i really, really wanted to see kristen again (and i was going backstage, so i was going to meet her too...). i ran to my friend rachel and started freaking out to her. we were both upset.

i go to my seat, i was now in a bad mood. i didnt want to see jessica i wanted to see kristen...but i would try to be fair in my judgement of her.

it was so weird...i'm used to looking at the backstage where the actors pass to get ready and go on the stage. i'm used to looking for kristen, anthony, aiko and a few other people who left. anthony left 5 months (already five months?) ago, so i couldnt look for him, kristen was out, so i only looked for aiko. saw her comb her hair :) , it was so strange though looking at the person in the "mark costume" and the person not being anthony. i'm so used to it being him.

...the cast walks out...this is when i start to cry. it was so strange, so sad to me. i didnt reconize most of the people. anthony and kristen not being there was so weird and so upsetting to me. i know, i know, most of you think its dumb or pathetic for me to cry, but that how i felt, i cant help it, i've been so used to the obc for over years and now most of them were gone and it was just all so different and upsetting.

jim: whatever. his most annoys me at times. he's not horrible, but i dont love him either. but he could be much worse...

norbert: he was good, much better than how i saw him in december. he made some of roger's feelings much more clearer and he seemed to be having fun on the stage today.

marcy: much better too. less screeching. :)

jessica: now, i DID try to not be so critical, but she still was bad. she was worse than sherie. she was a mixture of sherie and someone POORLY trying to be kristen (sorry but only KRISTEN can be KRISTEN), she was trying to be too cutesy and is bad at that. in act 1 i couldnt even look at her she was so bad. there was only was good thing she did in otm, the little swaying, possessed thing she did with "diet coke" and "virtual life" was cute, besides that...yuck. she was better at the more emotional maureen parts. her take me or leave me was ok and the rest of her act two range from sucky to eh. i feel kinda bad saying this about her since she was nice to backstage and it was her 3rd show as maureen, but i'm not going to lie about her maureen just cause she was nice to me...[message to kristen: next time i come, dont be out! you dont have to talk, just be there! ;P]

gwen: also better this time. i enjoyed her even more this time. very good and she did mesh well with jessica. sometimes when she would mock jessica a tiny bit, that was good, it made sence. ;) but why joanne would want to be with jessica's maureen, i dont know.

shaun: he was very good. he was different from the angels i have seen...the way he just acted and said things...i enjoyed him and his today for you a lot.

michael: the usual.

jacques: funny. like him.

aiko: LOVE her. i LOVE her. always have, always will. i do not know what i would done if she was not there. after the show when i went backstage i talked to her for alittle and she gave me a hug. she made me feel better right away. too bad she's leaving june 7. but she's been doing the show for about 2 1/2 years so i understand. she's leaving for a special reason too, she's getting married! congrats! :)

byron: i'm so glad he's still there and great. :)

mark: great as usual

will: very good shayna: she has gotten great at mark's mom. i enjoyed seeing her.

sharon: her bag lady was ok, but i loved her solo in sol.

the show has so much less feeling than when most of the obc members were there. so sad. its such a different show now. i enjoyed it more with them. i just cant believe how much it has change...i dont like how it changed either. i'm probably just going to go one more time when a couple of my school friends go and to meet kristen and kristen's last. i dont know if i will able to take more...i cant see the show with so much less energy and feeling many more times...::sigh::

i know though it probably sounds like i'm saying rent is dead. not so. its just not the same for ME. for other people its alive, wonderful and full of feeling and energy, but for me its not. i cant change the way i feel about that. if you want to love and be a big fan of it rent now, go for it, it's a great show, and i have no doubt that you'll love it. but for me, its not that way anymore. sorry if you have a problem with that and dont go e-mailing me giving a lecture on how i shouldnt feel that way and have no idea what rent is about and blah, blah, blah. thank you.

next

after the show i went backstage. it was wonderful. i saw all these cool things, like old pics (and new pics) of the obc, that wasnt really nice, saw boards jonathan started in nytw. met aiko and she made me feel all better. ;) got a full tour of the backstage, very cool, met norbert and other cast members and got a fully autographed playbill signed by the whole cast (including kristen) since crstyl the stage manager felt bad for me. ;)oh! and i finally signed the wall. :) i liked being backstage. :)

ok thats all for that...

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